Chapter 2

“I heard you talking about my brother,” I said. “He lives almost all around. He got his scholarship when he was in Ede, studying computer engineering. Not a good character though. Always causing scene.”

The girl smiled. The rigid load still on her head.

“I’m not talking about your brother,” she looked at me. “I was talking about you.”

I nodded. There was confidence in her eyes. Like she didn’t care. I decided to play along.

“That’s the point,” I said. “Most people mistake me from my brother. But are we that look-alike?”

I could see a trace of confusion. She controlled it well. They were buying pancakes. The kids all grinning at it. I picked one.

The lady shook her head.

“Not at all, okay? I know exactly what I’m talking about.” She glanced at the pancake in my hand. “Who is paying for that?”

I pointed. “You, or her.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“I’m not kidding. You know who exactly my brother dated. And definitely you already know he impregnated two out of the girls before he had an accident. So don’t tell me #50 naira is too much for you to handle.”

I was bûllshîting. People fell for it, times without number. I wasn’t serious about it either. Just some crazy flow. And now the girl is buying it. And it was the accident that caused it.

Very hard for her not to buy it anyway. Impregnated two out of the girls. Got an accident later on. Are you serious? Was I truly mistaken? But what about the #50 naira pancake? He is sure paying for it right? I smiled secretly. One of the kids came beside me and stretch her hand, or was it his hand, hard to tell, she or he looks exactly like a girl and a boy, all at the same time, there was pancake in she or he hand.

“You want to give me this?” I said to the little she.

“Mm,” she nodded with certainty.

I collected the pancake and take a bite. No point making the kid wait. It will be impolite. And out of manner.

The kid smiled and ran back to her mother. The second lady. Or woman. The less rigid no heavy load in my head girl.

I looked back at the rigid looking woman. “You understand me now? My brother is Lake Chas I am Isaiah Lasisi. He wasn’t born in Nigeria. And our two dâmn parents really did a great job pulling that out. Taking advantage of the immigration.”

The girl was left dumbstruck.

I took out a #200 naira note in my pocket and paid for my pancake and the little she or he girl. Then I bought another two and passed one to the little Lolita.

“So are you a girl or a boy now?” I said to her. “You look confusing.”

The less rigid girl glared at me. “My kid is not looking confusing. She’s a girl.”

I smiled at her. “Thank you for this great explanation. I would have taken her to be a boy if you didn’t say.”

“My mom used to get angry,” the kid cover her mouth with both hands and whispered in my direction. But is that a whisper? All of us hear you clearly kid.

“Maybe your mom get stressed too much by your dad.”

She shook her head.

“No,” the kid said. “My dad was never around. My mommy said he works somewhere far.”

I nodded to the kid. “Appreciate your mommy very well, okay? Your mommy knows a great way of bûllshîting all kinds of jargons to your head.”

“Bu-s-h… what is that? Is my mommy… I love my mommy.”

I glanced at her mommy. She glared at me.

“Keep loving your mommy okay? And thank you for the pancake.” I said to the kid and resumed back to my easing myself mission.

The kid called out as I left. “Thank you too. It is too you buy for me.”

Bought for me, I thought. I smiled and nodded without turning back. Mission already accomplished.

Whether the rigid girl totally believe me or not was not in my agenda to worry about. But sure, I indeed have a brother. But no, he didn’t look like me. Not at all. In fact we are both two different person. And he is older. He took two months from me. His mother was the mother that mother my mother. My mother is his mother first born.

He was a trouble maker. A reasonable trouble maker. Currently he went to village. He said he wanted to build an Imperial City right there in our hometown. Maybe he drank too much of caffeine that day. Or it was alcohol. Imperial City? Imperial City my a*s! But I remembered there was a girl with us that day. Maybe he was trying to impress her.

His real name is Noah. Noah Olayiwola. But he loves putting on a show. Plenty unnecessary show. He would go on to tell you what and everything he couldn’t achieve in twenty-five years and claim it to be done by the next three months. Eventually I got tired of his bûllshît. So I gave him a name, Lake Chas. I brainwashed him. He always assumed he is smarter than everyone. And everyone knew he is the dumbest of all. But we made him appear as being smart. At least that way everyone will have a peaceful life.

After easing myself I went back to my office-looking shop. Picked my phone and checked what is going on in the world.